Wednesday, October 14, 2009
a time of reflection...

finally... another update, but i think this is going to be my last. I have concluded that I am not a faithful blogger, but a faithful "facebook-er"!

well... many months have passed and I do feel that I've grown more spiritually and mentality. Not forgetting physically...haw haw haw!

Well...i am finally working and am working hard!!! My parents are reaching the age of retirement and i would need to be there for them. Gotta work hard, gotta work smart! i thank God for His grace and blessings during my time in SOT all the way till now. Every step I take, has been guided and directed by Him. Without His leading, I think i would still be searching for jobs - probably the wrong ones!

life is sure tough. But its the tough that keeps u strong. Dr A R Bernard mentioned that

"If you've never experienced the pain of a wrong decision, you'll never celebrate wisdom!"

how true.

I sure did make many wrong decisions in life. But i sure learn alot of them!

talking bout that...

I sure wanna make the right decision this time in regards to having a relationship. 3 failed relationships can seriously cause alot of "heart-damage". But thank God for His deliverance. been a year since the last relationship... I sure hope I am able to find the right partner soon.

alot has happened the past few months and during these months, I have drawn alot of conclusion about many things. and i feel these "many things" have kinda shaped and formed the way I think now, the things i do and the people i want to share my life with.

lets see how life's gonna be like for me...

I'll pen off here... but before I go, let me just say that..."any reflections should cause you to grow towards maturity and not go away from it."


posted @ 9:52 AM |

Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Heart of Worship

Have you been in Christian gatherings where the worship session is downright boring and dead?

Have you been to places where you see people mumbling the lyrics of the song and it seems like a ton of bricks are on their shoulders because their arms are not outstretched towards the Lord?

I've heard people saying:

"This is the way I worship the Lord!"

"What's wrong with my posture?!"

"The music's too loud/soft"

"The worship leader sings horribly!"

"Oh.. you know that guitarist? I think he is not very good in his skills..."

So many excuses....

Ryan Smith said sometimes, as creative people, we tend to think of crazy stuff while worshiping God. I can relate to that! Sometimes we need to step out of our comfort zone and do the unthinkable, because very often, we get settled quickly in the way we worship God.

Worship is not the posture neither does it has to do with the guitarist or song leader! Its not the method, its the heart. The heart to worship. It's to do with your decision. Worship is an attitude. An attitude we show to God! Remember the saying? "my attitude determines my altitude"? It's the same way we apply to our worship.

I see many people worshiping for all sorts of wrong reasons!

1 kings 18 talks about how the prophets of Baal had a showdown with Elijah. They wanted to see whose God is greater. The prophets of Baal were into all sorts of methods! Cutting, mutilating,beating, bashing, crying before their god. They did this to themselves! all 850 of them!

Elijah couldn't take it anymore. He challenged the prophets. He did the unthinkable! Elijah poured water unto his own offering. Finally, he have had enough! Elijah called upon the LORD and fire consumed the offering! The fire of God came and consumed every part of Elijah's worship. You see, Truth is needed in Worship. An attitude of worship brings Truth.

When you have a heart of worship, when you picture yourself exalting the name of Jesus, you'll know that the fire of God will consume your worship. Your worship becomes pleasing and acceptable to God and the Holy Spirit can move freely in your midst.

Psalms 47:5 (NLT)

"God has ascended with a mighty shout. The Lord has ascended with trumpets blaring."

I like what Ryan Smith says. He said, in the middle of a shout, there's God.

Let's worship God with all our heart, soul and spirit.


posted @ 3:44 AM |

Sunday, May 24, 2009
blogging this blog which is my blog makes you think im crapping in my blog but really, its my blog so I can do what I want with my blog.

OK!!! I'm gonna try this.

Pst Phil encouraged us to mediate on the Word of God.

Was in my ministry meeting this afternoon, when my ministry IC mentioned Proverbs16:9 while we were praying. (we were planning our guitar course for the next intake).

Pro 16:9 says:

"A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps."

Very often, we plan what we want to do with our time, our lives, our possession, our jobs and we think what we want to do with the people around us. Especially people living in Singapore. I believe we are a people of excellence, anything below our expectations will make us frustrated, stressed up and angry. When our plans do not go the way we want them to be, we become agitated, and we start to vent our anger, if not, we will start complaining!

I believe in planning. I grew up with this understanding that if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Planning is an important skill we must develop.

However, I also believe in making room for the Lord to direct my path.

Proverbs 19:21 (NLT)

"you can make many plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail."

Many times, we forget to make room for God to intervene our plans. We are so caught up fulfilling our plans that we forget what God's opinions are. God's purpose, I believe, works around our plans but the process in fulfilling our plans might just work another way around!

So why not make room for the Lord to direct your steps? It's His purpose that will prevail afterall.



posted @ 6:00 AM |

Monday, March 09, 2009
I need to expand...

Pastor Tan definitely preached a very good message.

Standing in Agreement.

As I was listening to him share the Word, I could feel something deep down reaching out, to want to know more. I realized my mistakes and told the Lord that I repent from the mistakes that I made.

Very Often, we don't grow together because division sets in. Pastor said, the enemy often figures a way to break the bond/chain that links us all together and we begin to isolate ourselves.

I went to Wiki the roman soldiers and found why during ancient times, they would often win battles after battles. It was because of their formations. One of these formations is known as the wedge formation. It is like the shape of an arrow head. Usually, a unit of legionaries consist of up to 200 soldiers. When soldiers are formed in the Wedge formation, it enables them to withstand enemy armored and heavily-armed infantry. These defenders link their shields to form an all-but impenetrable wall.

A battle was once fought in Britannia. when more than 120,000 barbarians fought against the roman army in which the romans were clearly outnumbered. The Romans adopted the wedge formation and fought back, resulting in a total victory against the barbarians.

When a soldier in this formation is slain or wounded, the next soldier from the back takes over his position and continues defending. The wounded soldier is then brought back to his command post to be treated for his wounds.

What has this got to do with "standing in agreement"?

Very often, our lives are like fighting in a battle. Our Cell-Groups and the members in it, are like our fellow soldiers fighting this battle against the enemy. Yet, it is quite tragic to find that members are indifferent to each other, gossips and murmuring are happening almost every other days.

Clearly, this has to stop. We cannot grow, and God cannot be manifested in our midst when we are always standing in disagreement. All our prayer meetings or plans to reach out to the lost will only fail because we are powerless to do anything when we stand in disagreement.

I want to make a difference in my cell group. I want to protect my connect group. We are gonna stand in Agreement together, and have God manifested in our midst.

50 by end of the year, YES AND AMEN!

ALRIGHT! now...

its been 4 weeks or is it 5 weeks...??? anyways, its been a few weeks since I joined Guitar Ministry and I'm truly enjoying serving God, serving people. Its great to see people being able to pick up the guitar and start playing now, when they didn't know how to, 4 weeks ago! Awesome!

Ahh..but I really wanna increase in my skills...

Wui Ping asked if anyone wanna go to the music team. I very much wanted to put up my hands, but the sad truth is that I don't know how to play the electric guitar. If I don't know how to play, HOW TO PASS AUDITION?!! Everyone seems to know how to play the electric guitar, only I don't.

So I will take this few years until the next opportunity comes, to play in the music team. For now, let me go learn my scales and the different chords.

posted @ 12:04 AM |

Tuesday, February 24, 2009
What's love?

He was 40 years old when he held my hand and played with me. He offered me sweets and said,

"Here... this is from my pocket. I have nothing much to give, but I think these sweets will make you happy..." .

I took the sweets from his hands, and saw the smile on his face. It was a genuine smile. I knew it because he didn't know how else he could make someone happy. He felt he was too much of a burden to his own family.

His wife walked up to him and offered him a bowl of soup. She told him to be careful because the soup was hot. I saw that smile faded away because He felt he needed someone to feed him but he didn't quite like that idea. He said, "Honey, its ok, I can still see... its just black and white images, but I can still see... don't worry about me." .

20 years passed.

I walked pasted him this morning and found he has completely lost his sight. He stood there at the train station, with his left hand stretched out, and the other, with his walking stick and 3 packets of tissue.

I placed some cash in his hands and said a little prayer, that God will protect him and if possible, regain his sight before he grows old and pass on.

I teared when I walked away from him. I remembered, as a child, I would go to his house and play with him, sit on his lap and sing songs together with him. That was all he could do, but I felt that he was happy and satisfied.

Today, when I saw him after 20 years, I found him standing even though he feels tired, probably feeling lost and hopeless because he couldn't even see, couldn't even tell what time it was. All he could do was to stand there, receive generous donations by passer bys, and wait for his wife to come fetch him after a day's work.

All he could think of, was the memories he had, probably 30 years ago, when his sight was totally fine back then. The picture of his life, his wife, the things he did, how young he looked are probably still fresh in his head.

This blind man, is the man standing at the Clementi MRT Station. I knew him when I was young. Uncle Peter is his name I think... God bless his soul.

posted @ 6:20 AM |

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

OK!!! blog blog blog...

1st of all, I wanna really say a BIG THANK YOU to all who have contributed to my bday presents, its been quite awhile since I had a GOOD presents for my birthday, so... you guys made my day.

So what are those presents you asked? 1stly, I had a "challenge your kidneys and liver" treat coz I had a chocolate fest at Max Brenners, along with my younger siblings.

Then I had another "liver-infecting" moment, we hung out at Timbre for some drinks with strange tasting pizzas but it was all fun la. FOR THE 1ST TIME I DRANK with MR CHNG?! POWER LA I TELL YOU! IT WAS ALL the "AH PEKS" drinking..

And the surprise present from the rest was really awesome. $150 Ed Hardy Vouchers. I was seriously shocked la. So...thank you guys for your treats and time!



I love christmas. Its the most cosy time of the year. Too bad my sister won't be around to celebrate with us. THAT MEANS ONE LESSER PERSON TO FIGHT FOR THE TURKEY DRUMSTICK WITH ME! ok sorry jie!

Anyways, as I was saying, I love christmas. I have this "tradition" of leaving the christmas tree lights on, on the eve of christmas and on christmas day itself. I would listen to christmas jazz overnight, during these two nights and sleep. Its my own tradition.

But not for CNY right? You don't expect me to listen to those "dong dong dong chiang!" songs overnight right? perhaps I might just sleep with money all over my bed la, but not for CNY la.

SO! its gonna be the end of the year soon.....

Alot has happened this year...hmmm..

Yup... went through a break up la, (LESSON LEARNT! NEVER RUSH INTO A RELATIONSHIP! ya...i admit, i was dumb...) kena stone in kidney la, financial difficulties la, lots of "testings" la...

BUT! I feel that 2009 is gonna be the best year yet! Greater things to come! I pray that my family will prosper financially even during this gloomy period. Recession...BUT GOD! haha...

So I pray that this year will end well la...

I hope to visit my sis soon though..havent seen her for 10 months already. Gonna save up money to fly over next year before SOT starts!





posted @ 10:43 PM |

Sunday, September 21, 2008

RIGHT! ok, 7am and I'm blogging before I make my way to the office. FINALLY I'M BLOGGING?!

Funny how most, if not, all my introductions in the entries that I write, are of the same thing. "YAY I AM BLOGGING AGAIN......"

OKOKOK... I just don't have the habit + the time to blog so much yes?

15 mins more before I leave the house.

I wanna talk about my work today. Been 3 weeks in this company, and my workload is starting to pile up. F1 is coming to town this week and many companies are gonna watch the race as a corporate event. Happy for them, Sad of me. Well, not quite sad actually... just....TENSED. My weekend this week is burnt and I have to go for make up service on sat, then rush back to the event and continue working my butt off. Why...O WHY must my 1st assignment be such a mega huge event? WHY can't they remember that I'm still new?

Ah! But since pastor's been preaching about servanthood + sons & daughters of the Kingdom... I think I'm ready to face this challenge with a positive attitude.

And I thank God my manager is a christian, which makes it more easy for me when I explain to her that I need to go to church & cell group.

so 3 weeks has passed and I am feeling pretty tired. I spoke to two of my best friends this week, one was telling me to make sure I get rest, the other one was laughing at how busy we are. LOL! Makes me feel I'm not the only one. I thank God for friends like that!

ok folks, its time to go, till I blog again!


posted @ 4:02 PM |

hi. this is the skin! the code might seem complicated. but all u gotta do is to edit from here onwards [in the code], and this will be the only place u need to edit your stuff! express yourselve freely!

Timothy Pan Ke Jie